Let It Go
by Boston Anonymous
Summary: Takes place after Big Time Movie. Kendall tries to deal with the aftermath of almost loosing his sister and Logan helps. Kogan. Spoilers!


**Hello! Almost done with the next chapter of **_**Meet the Warblers**_**. Apologies for it taking so long, school is kicking my little behind. It will be up this week, just gotta finish the editing. So, I just threw this little thing together right after watching the movie. Couldn't get it out of my mind! Enjoy!**

** BTW: SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

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><p>"No...no more darts...ung...ah!" Logan sat up straight in his bed, taking deep breaths as he grabbed his leg, groping in the dark to pull out a metal item that was no longer lodged into his flesh.<p>

"Ow..." He moaned wincing when his hands connected with his sore leg. His entire body was sore after their long day of being spies in London, and performing for hours on stage. But his leg hurt the most

from getting shot, _three_ times!

Letting out a sigh as the pain subsided, and silently cursing Carlos and his dreams, _again_, he rubbed at his eyes before sliding out of his hotel room bed. His eyes had finally adjusted to the moonlight filtering in from the open window, and the sounds of late night London filled the room. Loud horns from cabbies, the zooming of double Decker buses, and accents from cockney to high end echoed in the night, dragging Logan over to shut the window with a bam! He loved London, but he was ready to move on from this country. He could only hope the rest of Europe didn't have anymore craziness like he had experienced here.

He turned around to head back to his bed when he realized something was missing...or rather someone.

Carlos was helmet clad and sprawled across his bed, sheets on the floor sleeping backwards, cradling the echo boom blaster he had used hours before. Luckily Penny deactivated it so Carlos could bring it home as a souvenir, rather than an actual weapon.

On the bed next to Carlos, James was snoring softly, snuggled up to a framed picture of him and Penny. Logan wasn't sure how James was actually able to get a picture of him and Penny together, especially with her super spy of a father nearby, _and_ have it framed...but somehow he did.

And Kendall...was gone.

With a frown, Logan limped over to the bathroom, knocking softly...but no answer. He opened the door to reveal it dark and empty.

"Where could he have gone?" Logan whispered to himself. Hoping that his best friends disappearance had nothing to do with the international hodgepodge of insanity they had endured this past day, Logan went to his bag to get changed. He didn't feel right wandering the hotel in boxers and a white t-shirt. He pulled on a long sleeve track shirt, some fleece pants and travel slippers, then grabbed two room keys before silently slipping out the door.

The fifth floor of the Queen's hotel was silent at three in the morning, which only served to make Logan's paranoia grow. He was half expecting neatly suited men to jump out of the shadows, or bumbling Swedes to dart around the corner to threaten his life. For a moment he even thought he saw Moon, but it turned out to be his own reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall.

With his heart nearly bursting out of his chest from fear, Logan finally made the trek to Mama Knight and Katie's room. While he had his own rooms key, Mama Knight had entrusted each boy with a key to her room as well for emergencies. Logan considered Kendall's disappearance an emergency, and while he really didn't want to wake the woman up, he wasn't sure where else to look for his missing friend.

Sliding the white room key into the slot, he quickly pulled it out, waited for the light to turn green, then slowly turned the knob. He creaked the door open with tentative care, not wanting to alarm the inhabitants of the room by bursting in with his bad news. Opening the door with just enough space for him to slide in, Logan stepped into the room, quietly shutting it behind him. He intended to just nudge the sleeping elder Knight awake, and get her help in finding her lost son. There was no need to wake up Katie. She had been through enough today.

They all had.

The same moonlight that shimmered into his room pooled into this one, creating a soft glow that highlighted the details of the rooms contents. Bed, chairs, lamps...they all held their own shadows and features that Logan used as a guide to make his way towards the beds.

Or at least try to.

He had barely gotten two steps into the room before he felt a hand grab his ankle, then forcefully shove him to the floor.

Fear he had been pushing down on his trek to this room bubbled up to his chest, threatening to pour out from his mouth except for the strong hand that clamped over it with such force Logan knew he would never get even a scream to seep out.

"Logan?" A voice hoarsely whispered above him.

The raven haired boy had to blink a few times, his eyes not entirely used to the darkness, before the unmistakable outline of his missing friend became clear.

"Kendall?" Logan muffled out with a confused quirk of his eyebrows. He heard the blond sigh, then grab his arm, dragging him to stand before pulling him into the double's bathroom.

Holding out his hands to steady himself, they quickly flew to his eyes when Kendall turned on the bathroom light, pain cracking through his head light a lightening bolt.

"Ah Ken! Give a guy a warning will you?" Logan whispered, rubbing his eyes a bit before trying to pry them open a bit at a time. He could hear Kendall slowly close the bathroom door shut behind them.

"What are you doing here?" Kendall whispered back. Logan could see through the small slits in his eyes that Kendall was having the same trouble adjusting to the onslaught of light that he was.

"Oh you know out for a midnight stroll...just thought I'd pop by to see how your mom was...I was looking for you of course!" Logan snapped, finally able to open his eyes enough so he could only narrow them in anger, trying to portray to his friend how annoyed he was.

"Yeah well...you found me. Now you can head on back to the room." Kendall said, shrugging before motioning to the bathroom door that Logan could leave.

"Oh no. Not before you tell me what's going on here." Logan said, crossing his arms and taking a seat on the closed toilet lid, "Why are you in this room?"

Letting out an annoyed sigh, the blond retorted, "It's nothing. Just leave it alone Logan."

A scoff from the little genius, then, "Kendall...I think you're forgetting who you're talking to here. You know I'm not going to leave this alone...now out with it."

Grabbing his blond locks with frustration, Kendall let out an annoyed groan before taking a seat on the edge of the bathtub, closer to Logan. He hung his head for a minute, before letting it back up to glare at his friend, "You are such a pain in the butt sometimes."

Logan let out a snort, "You're calling me a pain? How about the one who dreamed up the mess we got ourselves into today? I'd say by comparison my pain in the butt-ness is far less than his."

That got Kendall to crack a smile...but it soon faded.

With worry in his stomach, Logan placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, before whispering, "What's wrong Kendall?"

Turning to stare at the hand connected to his shoulder, Kendall bit his lip, his eyes suddenly sad and heavy. Logan took that as a bad sign, and slid of his seat to sit next to Kendall at the edge of the tub. He removed his hand, but only because their shoulders were now touching, maintaining some sort of comforting physical contact.

Kendall was silent for a while, before he swallowed thickly and began, "It was okay...when everything was going on. When we were in the helicopter...on stage. Even sight seeing. There was stuff going on...so I didn't have to think about it." Here he paused.

Encouraging him on, Logan said, "Think about what?"

"Katie..." Kendall whispered, hanging his head again.

"Katie..." Logan echoed, not entirely sure where his friend was going.

"Yeah. As...as soon as I laid down to get to sleep...it all just...hit me. Katie being kidnapped. Being tied up. Being...held hostage at gun point." Kendall's voice cracked, and Logan could see him gripping the edge of the tub with such force his knuckles were turning white.

"What if we were to late? What if...something happened to her. If...we made a mistake..._I_ made a mistake. I could have lost her." He turned to Logan, his eyes big and wet and full of fear, "I'm her big brother. I should have protected her. Kept her safe. She never should have been involved in any of this. I should have known they would have gone after her. I should-"

Kendall suddenly found himself engulfed into the embrace of his friend. His face pressed into Logan's chest, his back held securely by Logan's arms. For a moment he wondered if he should pull away, brush off Logan's attempts to comfort and try to be a man...handle it alone...

But then Logan quietly whispered, "Okay. You can let go now."

And suddenly...he did.

He tired to keep quiet, his mother and sister were on a few feet away and while it was one thing for Logan to see this, he really didn't want his family to witness his breakdown.

And what a breakdown.

He grasped onto Logan and his friends comfort like it was a lifeline, burying his face into Logan's strong chest as the sobs heaved with every breath. He knew he was leaving Logan's shirt soaking wet, but he didn't care. Logan said let go, and he did. The fear, the worry. The gut wrenching realization that in a moment he could have lost his baby sister. Gone.

"Your sister is safe. She's right outside, fast asleep with not a scratch on her. You saved her Kendall. You're her hero. You can't hold onto what just happened...just let it go."

The voice of his friend was quiet, but filled with the strength Kendall needed so desperately. He wanted to be held, he wanted to be comforted. He needed to know that everything was going to be all right.

When the pain wasn't so sharp, and his breaths not so filled with tears, he shuffled back a bit, pulling his weary head up to look at Logan.

"S-sorry." He whispered, knowing full well he must have looked like a wreck.

With his trademark half grin, Logan whispered back, "Don't worry about it." He reached up a hand and gently pushed Kendall's bangs off his forehead, which were sticking to his skin from all the sweat from crying.

They both were silent, regarding each other in a new light, arms still intertwined, tension from the day thick in the air.

And then...everything changed.

Ever the leader, Kendall made the first move, tilting his head to the side then sitting up a bit to brush

his lips gently against Logan's before pulling back.

The little genius frowned, sucking in a small breath before whispering, "Kendall...you...you're not really in a great place right now to be making good decisions..." He silently cursed his pragmatic personality, but he had to voice the words. In all honesty, he had been wanting to do the same to Kendall for a long time...but never knew that Kendall wanted to as well.

With a slight blush, the blond whispered back, "Is it okay if I made the decision of wanting to kiss you about...three months ago?" He smiled a little before continuing, "I was in a much better mind-state then."

Surprise filled Logan, but it was to late at night and the day was to long, so he saved his questions for the morning sun and said, "That sounds like a good time to make decisions." And with that he leaned forward to initiate their second kiss, keeping it soft and tentative. Though his body ached for more, he knew the other aches, as well as their sleeping situations for the next few months, would keep them from achieving that goal for a while.

But he was content with that. Content with soft kisses along the lips, cheeks and jaw. The steady caresses and tight squeezes. The low moans and whimpers tumbling out of pouty mouths. He was more than content with it.

Pulling back, while smiling at Kendall's frown, Logan said, "We should really get some sleep Kendall. Gustavo said we could sleep in but we still have to pack and be on a flight to Germany tomorrow." As he explained this he laced his fingers with Kendall, not ready to break contact.

Sighting with defeat, Kendall nodded, allowing Logan to use their intertwined fingers to pull him standing, swaying a bit from exhaustion.

"Don't pass out before we get to our room." Logan joked, placing a hand around Kendall's waist to keep him steady.

However, at Logan's words, Kendall tensed. "I-I can't go back there...yet." Kendall stumbled out, ducking from Logan's questioning gaze.

"Why not?" Logan asked, frowning as he realized he was no closer to understanding why Kendall was hiding in his mother and sisters room.

"I-I have to be here...to make sure they're okay. I can't...leave them yet. When we went to bed, I kept having flash backs and before I knew it I was having like...a panic attack." Kendall brought a hand up to his chest, remembering the constricting feeling he got when he remembered seeing his sister tied up to that chair for the first time.

"So...you've just been hiding out here?" Logan asked, to which Kendall nodded a reply.

"Just...lying on the floor?" Logan continued with a frown. He was glad he awoke and found his friend. He didn't like the idea of Kendall being alone in the dark, frightened by his memories.

"I'm sorry Logan. I want to go with you...but I just can't. Not yet." Kendall said, chancing a look up to his friend, worried to find annoyance or anger there.

But, there was only that smile that made Kendall's heart melt. Logan stood on his tip toes to give Kendall a quick kiss before saying, "Wait here."

Before Kendall could question where Logan was going, the raven haired boy was out the door, leaving Kendall alone.

Kendall sat back down on the edge of the seat, wrapping his arms around his chest. Logan had only been gone a few moments and already he couldn't stand it. He wanted Logan back. To touch him, kiss him...remind him that everything was all right.

Just when he was about to throw open the door, Logan came back in, motioning Kendall to follow him out of the bathroom.

Through the light seeping into the room, Kendall could make out the sleeping bundles of his mother and sister in their own twin beds in this small double.

On the other side of the room, on the floor under the window, was a large makeshift bed.

"How did you do that?" Kendall whispered to Logan as the shorter boy turned off the bathroom light and pulled Kendall to the floor bed, laying down with him.

"They always keep extra pillows and blankets in closets in hotels. And I used a lot of the cushions from the couch." Logan answered, pulling the blankets over the two.

It took a minute to get used to each other, since neither had ever shared a bed with someone like this before. Both being guys, they were used to doing the spooning and cuddling, not being spooned or cuddled.

Eventually it was decided that since Kendall liked sleeping on his back, and Logan liked sleeping on his side, Logan was laying with his head on Kendall's chest.

"You think you will get any sleep now?" Logan asked Kendall, already feeling sleep come over him. In case this was all a dream, Logan sat up to give Kendall one last kiss.

Kendall, who had every intention of keeping this dream come true alive, returned the kiss, making plans to talk to his friends and family tomorrow about his and Logan's new relationship.

"I think so...yeah." Kendall answered after Logan pulled away from the kiss to snuggle back onto Kendall's chest.

Letting out a content sigh, Kendall tightened his hold around Logan's shoulders, looking up at the moon. The moon he and his friends saved that day.

But he would have given it back. He would have given the moon to anyone if it meant keeping his sister, his family safe.

But his family, along with the moon, was safe. His sister was asleep a few feet away, and his new boyfriend was passed out in his arms.

So he took Logan's advice...and let go.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed :)<strong>

**xoxo BA**


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